The A Bomb

Ok...so we decided that perhaps it would be a good time to tell Mom that she has altzheimers.....I take a deep breath and look at Daddy and at Mom and say "Mom, daddy and I have something to tell you". I plan on telling her how much we love her, and she will always be welcome, and how she's not any trouble and just a good 25 minute speech on her condition before I drop the A Bomb...
Daddy says "are we gonna tell her she's got the Altzheimers Disease?"

Dead silence...Mom claps her hands and says "wonderful..that's wonderful...I could have had cancer or heart trouble instead and I wouldn't feel as good as I do...or I could be paralysed.....It's going to be a wonderful adventure.....Now when do we get started?"

I said "Mom, we already started and have already had a boat load of fun".....so sit back girls and get ready...I.m going to have so many funny stories..

And as for my speech...I got a chance to tell her the next day...everything I wanted to say...We both cried and then both laughed hysterically..Mom is amazing....AND SO DAM FUNNY!

To Tatoo or Not To Tattoo

Today Mom and I nearly started a riot in Dr. Tusa's waiting room...she had an appointment and I thought how fun to tell her she was going for a tattoo. Well,you know how the most bizarre things stick in her mind. 

We are filling out paper work (I am) and Mom strikes up a conversation with a man sitting next to her who looks like he escaped from a carnival.  He has a number of tattoos, all visible and all apparently done in jail.  She proceeds to tell him about her tattoo that she is getting today from Dr. Tusa and how it is covered by her insurance. 

Well, that brings on the chick sitting directly across from us who is there for a workman's comp claim but has a tiny butterfly tattoo on her ankle, the one that has been hurt and she wants to know when Dr. Tusa started doing tatts (short for tattoos)? She got her tatts from the Ringmaster. 

And of course everyone wants to know how in the world this is covered by insurance.  Well we all know the the Lord has been giving me special attention here lately and sure enough..Elise Bridgewater is called back to see the doctor.  As we are going thru the door, I hear the chick talking to a boy behind her and his Mom about how she's going to check into this insurance deal....she never knew tatts were covered under insurance.

I didn't even tell Dr. Tusa about the horrible rumor brewing in the waiting room...I thought I would let it be a surprise..

The Lord and McDonald's

Dear Sharon,
     Since the Lord is everywhere all the time, I'm sure he was at McDonald's yesterday.  However, the parting of the traffic, the cherry with a stem, and the shady spot (particularly the shady spot in yesterday's heat) are all signs the Lord was paying special attention to the Seaton girls - who need a little special attention just now.
     I love your story.  It reminded me of the times I used to take Grandma Hailey to lunch.  We would wind up at Shoney's eating Hot Fudge Cake for lunch.  Just the cake - nothing else the least bit nutritional.

The Lord Was At McDonald's

Yes, the Lord was at McDonald's today...how do I know? Because Ella said so..after all, she got a cherry with a stem on it in her chocolate milkshake (which apparently is not common).
I took Mom on a little field trip today... We loaded her up in the car after getting permission from the nurses and proceeded to take her to her favorite places...Ella was sure that the Lord was going to be at the McDonald's today and sure enough...the traffic parted..we got on the lot, the line moved faster than usual, and for our picnic there was one lone parking place and it happened to be the shadiest spot on the lot...If all that is not enough to convince you that the Lord was there...our sandwiches were extra delicious, the fries extra salty and hot and the most convincing evidence of the Lord's presence....the cherry with stem in the chocolate milkshake...what a wonderful day with the Lord, Mom and Ella.

Mom

Well, I talked to mom yesterday on the phone.....
"Sharon, they said I could go home today,,,,there aren.t many people here and they don't have any activities planned so I'll just come on home"....... that tiny hand covering the receiver....."hurry before they change their mind."

The nurse on the other line calling..."Tracy, you know she can't come home, right?"

Girls, another 2 weeks and Elise will be back at the Landing.....last time I visited she said...."I believe we should get our money back....I'm not having that much fun". I said "Mom, you don't want to hurt VANNA White's feelings do you? After all , this is all expenses paid, all inclusive meals and gym time here at the Plumley Vacation Resort And Spa...you won all this playing the home version of Wheel of Fortune...she thought a minute, looked me straight on eye to eye and said...."I miss Bridge...(daddy)."

Oh girls..this is hard.....

Passing Pleasing People...part 1

People I met in Louisiana

My all time favorite...the cab driver named Carl who lost his wife 3 months ago and is raising a 17 year old daughter...we sat in his cab ( my mother-in-law (Christine) and David's auntie (Doris)...first thing out Christine.s mouth...you.ll need to turn that rap music down..I just can't stand all that African beat beat beat in the music....Carl promptly turned the volume down and apologized..."sorry" he said. "I didn.t get to church this Sunday, had to work, so my pastor records his sermons and I listen as I work". Love me some Carl....then Doris accused him of driving the cab slow to run the meter up...Carl explained to these white women that it didn.t matter what speed he drove they would only be charged the actual miles...Love me some Carl....he talked a little about Jesus, his pastor, his daughter, softened these old ladies up a little but they still tried to stiff him on the tip...I fixed him up..he gave me his card and said he would be honored to pick us back up after we toured the museum...it was his cell number and he came back for us...

Next the museum volunteer at R.W. Norten's ...he greeted us at the door, gave us our maps, read the rules about no touching, no flash photography, and no gum chewing....Christine promtly told him she could.t chew gum because it stuck to her partial....Now this dude was probably 90 years old....He looked at her and said TMI....we exploded knuckles and did a dance.....he was probably the coolest dude...

Then there were the bingo ladies...love the bingo ladies....we played with other wives and mothers of fishermen Thursday morning...just a

little time filler, get together pastries, coffee and fellowship...as we are playing (about 50 of us) we are not winning.Christine says, I don,t think they are really binging..they need to check their cards....she's won 3 times....I don't think she cleared her card...I stand up between games...announce that my mother-in-law has not bingoed yet and for the love of all that is holy could they just let her bingo...the heavens parted, angels sang...Christine bingoed...Yeah..right?....well noooo..she didn.t want to bingo that time and win that beautiful candle and holder...she wanted the light up screwdriver...good golly...then Doris did not bingo...stood up made the announcement again...low and behold Doris bingoed...angels are singing.....nooooooo...it.s a flashlight....she wanted the stadium chair.....I need a drink....

Oh...and the waitress in the bar at the Hilton...she was so cool...she also worked our banquet....she helped Doris and Christine collect all the sweet and low their pockets would carry that night..never batted an eye...kept dropping it off to them like it was some covert operation...she was a real sweetie...said her Grandma and auntie were just like them only black..we both laughed til we were sick...

Mother

I spent my entire visit with Mom today telling her not to cross her legs, not to lean forward and not to point her toes together...technically these are the things that will destroy the surgery on her hip...then she wanted a note to help her remember cause the whole time I was telling her all this she was leaning forward and crossing her ankles under the chair....I wrote it on paper...she promptly lost it....I wanted to scream at Mother to just be still....I guess my frustration was showing because Mom came out to play..."Sharon, I just can't remember". So I wrote it on the palms of her hands...then I told her they were going to issue her a card before she came home which stated that she was bonafide crazy and it would get her a discount at McDonald's and Subway....she laughed...looked at me and said " really?". I looked her straight in the eyes and said yes....Mom I can hardly wait for you to come home..
Before we left Mom's room today Ella prayed for her....this was her prayer..

Dear God,
You know we love you...Please make Elise well again so we can take her home....we love her so much and I want her to go roller skating with me. I think that would be great therapy. Amen