Elise's Escapades

Mom's surgery on her eye went very well.....as a matter of fact you be the judge....


Surgery was Tuesday afternoon...Wednesday morning we go for post surgery look-see....as we are sitting in the examining room with the tech he has mom holding a panel over her good eye...looks at me , winks, and says...she's not going to be able to see this but let's just see....a giant S is in the mirror...

"Ms Elise, can you see that".

Mom...."P E E B L E S C L E A R AN C E O W O U T "

He says,,,,"no, there's one big letter...can you see that sweetie?".

Mom .. "You mean that big S on the wall...I thought you meant those other letters." Upon looking around the room, I noticed my purse with the Peebles Big Blowout Clearance sale brochure.

The tech turned to me and said...."I said it before last month when we did her right eye...and I'll say it again now....she is amazing!"

This surgery was on her left eye,,,,it involved a cornea scraping...she actually should not be seeing until about Friday but You All Know Mom!

So there is the update...Mom is well and ready to play golf,,,,,she has never played but I have convinced her that with her new and improved sight her game will improve,,,,,she is ready!!!!

MOM CHEATS ON RONALD

 Back to Lowe's today to look at stain and light fixtures....oh what fun...Mom still looks for the clothing department every time we go but it doesn't take long to get her on board looking at lumber, light fixtures and rugs....she doesn't care as long as we go to McDonalds afterwards, you know, it's her favorite place to eat....well anyway, today when we left we decided to go to Burger King....I told her she was cheating on Ronald MacDonald, but, the King gives Crowns and Gift Boxes.....she may convert...

Mom
Mom came over this morning..."where is Sharon?" she asks me....I tell her I've gone to town...I should be back soon". A few minutes later same thing...."has anybody seen Sharon?". I'm gone Mom...I will be back soon.....Do you need anything?". "no, I just miss her...". Well I will be back soon....20 minutes later....well, here we go again....Instead..."Oh Hi Honey, You got back...do you need me to help you do anything?".
Mom was not in the building today, but maybe tommorrow will be better..she spent the entire day looking for me, her watch and her cell phone.....But she was busy and had fun..all my fishermen know she has problems and they all talk to her about her favorite subject...ME.

Priority....Sale or Stroke?

My very latest detour....Mom and I are in Walmart...I need to replace a tv here at the lodge...there it is on the shelf..as advertised, on sale, $248.00. A beautiful, 32 inch screen tv, just right for room #7....all these years of returning my buggy to the buggy stands out on the parking lot to keep my prices low is paying off...but there is only one left and I spy a guy coming up on my right looking at the same set I am and looking very determined....I kick it in gear and tell Mom to walk faster.....we beat him and sure enough he was going for the same set...Ha! I have scored....feeling so good about my score we wheel to the back to look at drapery material, that makes me sound like I can sew, candles and fancy cupcake papers, that makes me sound like I can cook.
Anyway, we are shopping, Mom becomes deathly ill, passes out and seems to be having some kind of seizure...a minute or two into the seizure, a couple comes along, calls 911, a clerk comes along, gets a chair, a manager comes along with wet cloths....we are a scene and as I look out into the crowd I spy Lee...she steps in ...takes control, helps me talk to the paramedics and all in all, just saves the day for me....she is helping with Mom, getting info, giving info just absolutely taking care of me...she might as well have had on a cape that day and been able to fly....she was my hero....I have a death grip on my buggy, cause after all it has my tv in it....Lee prys my hands off the buggy, saying go on, I'll take care of your buggy....I am protesting...Lee you don't understand, I must have that tv....she looks t me like I have lost my mind....She turns to the store manager who in turn is looking very puzzled..as if to say, how can this woman be so obsessed with unpurchased goods in the buggy....he assures Lee, he will park it I the back ...Lee said I will give him your name, Now Go And Take Care Of Your Mother...I Will Meet You Out Front....I turn one more time....she is motioning for me to go on....Go...Go...Go...

Mom in ER


Mom gets wheeled out, spends about 30 minutes in the ambulance, they get her stable before transporting, Lee and I follow them to the ER. They admit her because apparently she did indeed had a stroke....they conduct tests all night, I talk with the doctor, she says they want to do a few more the next morning and then she will discuss a plan with me. 

2nd Day

Lunch

Shopping on the way out.



This was all yesterday...as I write this tonight we are home because Mom is a medical miracle....Dr. Go told Mom to go home and keep on playing....as you can see, she has recovered very well. As we were leaving, she went around the floor, told each and everyone of the nurses what a grand time she had but it was time to go home....we stopped at the gift shop, went to McDonald's and came home....it was almost like she was in a parade.

Hello McDonalds!

And I Did Get My TV....
I have got to stop taking DETOURS......

I see crazy people...

A few weeks ago when I took Mom to visit Aunt Chrick at " The Home" I checked in....saw several people....found Aunt chrick...set her and Mom up at a cozy little table so they could visit and decided I was early enough to go visit my daughter who lives only a few miles away.  I look around for someone to tell that I'm leaving for an hour or so and a delightful woman comes up and offers to help.  I explain, she tells me she's been working here at "The Home" now for about 2 years.  I've never met her, she is very nice and helpful and I comment that I am so glad to meet her and will be seeing her again in the fall. She explains that she only works in the summer as she still works at the Department of Human Services during the fall and winter. We had a wonderful conversation...I feel really good about leaving.  She is so attentive to Mom and Aunt Chrick offering to get them tea and a snack while I'm gone. Wow..talk about one on one service...how great is that!

I leave, am gone for about 2 hours, come back and the residents are having dinner. Mom and Aunt Chrick are hooping it up, having a good time and I notice that the caregiver I was so fond of is at another table .  Why ..  she is eating with some other ladies, what dedication, she really loves her job to stay overtime and eat unseasoned food.  I walk up to her table, she jumps up, introduces herself, and now she tells me she was a school teacher and is visiting her sister.  I find that odd ... maybe she has a twin.  No, I go to get a cup of coffee and here she comes again.."Aren't you new here? I am Covia, and I can't find my car....will you help me?". Here comes a real caregiver who takes Ms Covia back to her table.....time for her meds. 
Oh my goodness...I left Mom and Aunt Chrick in the care of a crazy person.

All Skate

I am my Mom.....

I found myself saying today to her...."and if he told you to jump off a bridge would you do that too!"

The Fifth Season

Mom asked a new question today...didn't want to know day, time or month....she wanted to know what season it was..I responded, thinking once again how funny I am with.."Why it FOOTBALL SEASON Mom"
Her reply...Well let's play!

I went outside to play with Mom. This afternoon, we are going to slide down a grass hill on cardboard....and  make a bonfire later. I can hardly see for my tears, but they are tears of joy, for real now...I refuse to be sad on a day when I can play outside with my best friend...

She is in her Fifth Season....(there's a book somewhere inside me)

Georgia on My Mind

David and I went to Lake Hartwell, Georgia to fish the ABA Couples Nationals....before leaving Mom and I had a real girl's day....manicures, pedicures, hair color,,,,,everything to make us special before the trip....Mom was not going with me as I would be fishing every day from sun up to sun down....We went, had a large time, and came back...upon arrival Mom comes over before I can get to her apartment...She walked in and was so glad to see us, couldn't believe how much she missed me and was so glad to see me again....we were gone a week but she felt like she hadn't seen us for months....I being the fast thinker said,"I know Mom....you can't go away like that again...we miss you too much...Did you have fun?". She says, "oh yes, I can't tell you how wonderful that trip was...It was so good for me, but I am so glad to be back home...I love you but I missed you too much....I won't ever leave again"

Time and space...it doesn't exist in Mom's world.....all the guilty feelings I had while away have been lifted....I learn something new everyday from Mom... 

New York New York

Mom asked me 20 times today when Hurricaine Irene would be here......she's told me a number of times today that they are closing mass transit and the subways....she was concerned that we would have trouble getting to Daddy at Dialysis.  Several times today I've told her...we will be safe....it's on the coast...we don't have to worry.   Finally I told her New York will be next....they are right in the path. 

Mom looked at me and as sane as could be asked...."Sharon, you do know they don't have hurricianes in New York City don't you?"

How does she do this.....How can that random piece of information come when she can't remember what day it is, what she has eaten, if it's day or night, where she is?
I just need to remember....If I could understand this disease, I could control it......

So we are having our own hurricane party...we are going to consume an entire quart of Breyers Butter Pecan  Ice Cream and 5 Klondike bars,  and 3 orange sherbet push-ups so when we loose our power, our ice cream won't melt.  Oh what fun!!!  

I'll be the one having the Strawberry Daiquiri....

Tattoo Parlor & Parking Permits

Today Mom and I took a Detour on the way home....We pulled in at the Ringmaster..Tattoo and Body Piercing....WHAT FUN!..I thought I would just shake Mom up a little and get a photo....We pull up, I'm making my picture, had her open the car door, and out she pops, in we go, and next thing I know..we are thumbing through sleeves of tattoo designs on the wall.

A charming girl is waiting on us....She shows us her tattoo that she had done across the small of her back (top of her butt) which said Eternity cause when she looks at it she is reminded of her dear Grandmother who passed years ago....She also has a tattoo of her children's names in various places on her...which she didn't show ...The one on her wrist was quite good.it is done in green and turquoise..it can be covered with an oversized watch ...Most important that tatts are put where they can be covered....

Mom is taking all of this in and I am as well....We look at all the designs, I ask if Mom can sit in the chair and let me make her picture and the girl insists that she make the photo cause we are just so darned cute....We made her picture too...

As we are leaving our fun little adventure she asks us to come back when Jim is there because he could make us fake tatts and we could really show Mom's friends up.....Oh what fun!

As we are about a mile down the road...Mom says...."Wasn't this just the best day ever? Do you ever remember when we had more fun? I don't care what that tattoo cost, I think it's the best thing we've ever done....I'm not going to show Daddy yet though...He may not like it....But it was so much fun....I want to go back."

My only regret today was that I did not get the girl's name who was waiting on us....She was so patient and kind and generous with her time...She treated Mom like a princess....As we were leaving she tapped my arm and said...My Grandmother had Altzheimer's....She was not as enjoyable as your Mom while she was sick but I chose to remember the good times....I find on every detour I am not alone in this journey...Everyone has someone who has been affected by Altzheimer's....They all get this crazy look of understanding as soon as they realize and become so compassionate.....It's almost like a secret society....but we don't have to have a crazy handshake because it is apparent....Now if I could just get one of those blue parking plaques to hang from my rear view mirror..

Fast Men

Today Mom and I go to Lowe's for casters...we're strolling along and come face to face with a really cute race car driver.  Mom walked up to him, examined him and a clerk came by....spoke and Mom asked ..."Is he real?".  The clerk, a little unclear on the question said that yes indeed he was a real race car driver and that was a cardboard paper doll of him to advertise Kobalt Tools.  Well of course she knew that..(I get a lot of that lately) and with all that settled we made a picture, oh what fun, and moved on. 

5 steps away Mom in a real small voice says, "You do know that was not a real man...it was cardboard." She's looking at me like I look at her when I am flabbergasted .....you know like...really...like are you serious kind of look.

10 steps later..."Wasn't that just the nicest race car driver you ever met in your entire life? (I've met so many.)  And you know how busy he is and stopping me and asking to have his picture made...what a great day this has been.  I can't wait to tell Daddy!  Oh!  Wonder if he will get to the race on time, you know he's racing today."

"Mom, it's OK...It's a night race."

Death and Cavities

This morning we were playing T V Commercial...one of our favorites.  We do impromptu commercials with whatever product is near us....Ella's commercial...

"Fruity Pebbles Rocks Your
whole Mouth!!!! And may cause Cavities and even Death"

What you may ask did a detour have to do with this?  Her original breakfast was supposed to be eggs, oatmeal, and cinnamon toast....but it's Saturday and we called a truce...she will let me say ugly things today, maybe, if I let her eat Fruity Pebbles...we'll see how this deal goes as the day progresses.

Mom got in on the action too!  

Tomorrow I take Daddy for his facelift.....that's right...I said FACELIFT....

They will be lifting his eyelids....Not fair. I've spent most of the day telling Mom all the reasons I was not going to take her....We'll be going to the basement...we'll be on the third floor...it will be a long day....there will be no shopping....the chairs will be uncomfortable....she kept informing me she could keep up...she didn.t mind....she wants to go.....I finally said...Mom...I can.t manage both you and Daddy at the hospital....you will have to stay home...then she played her pitiful card..."I don't mean to be a bother...I didn't know I was so much trouble"

Pulled out my pitiful card...big tears rolling..."Mom, you hurt my feelings when you say you are a bother to me. I just can't do this tommorrow..you will have to understand". I was crying real tears...I don't do that often but today..they poured...

About 30 minutes later, Mom comes over..."Sharon, I don't want to go the Nashville tommorrow...I think it will be too hot and I'm going to stay and help Tracy do laundry and play with Ella...Will that be ok with you if I don't go?"

It's another one of those sacrifices Mom is famous for....she has a way of always making me feel better...she removed all the guilt I felt by acting like she didn't want to go.....Now I know, all of you are waiting for the fairy tale ending. Mom gets to go and we will have a great day..NO...I am not taking her......

Havin a Blast at the Burial...Wish you were here...

I remember the day I knew Mom had Alzheimer's for real.     Really had it.

The day we buried her sister, Ruth Evelyn, Mom and Aunt Chrick were standing in line at the casket, whooping it up and having a big time with all the family and friends who had come to pay their respects. There was food, music, family and friends. I mean what else could you possibly ask for? The service was beautiful and her and Aunt Chrick (who also has Alzheimer's) had a ball.

When we got in the car to go to the cemetery Mom said, "What a wonderful day this has been, good food and good fellowship. I am so thankful. I wish Mother and Daddy could be here. They would have loved this." We buried her parents years ago. As we pulled up at the gravesite for the burial, Mom said, "And a picnic too! I just can't believe how wonderful this all is!"

On that particular day, I knew that we were embarking on a new adventure....A Detour if you will. And I decided to embrace the disease and not let it beat me.  I decided to look at this disease as my Mom always looked at everything in life …with a song in my heart and a smile on my face. 

My biggest battle is trying to understand the mechanics of this disease. I have finally understood, I do not need to know the mechanics. I don't need to know why. I don't need to know how. If Mom had a broken leg, I would not expect her to run. If she was blind, I would not expect her to read. Since she's crazy, why should I expect her to be sane? Alzheimer's has no props, like glasses, hearing aids, crutches, etc. It's unspoken and unseen, so it takes special skills to deal with it.

I hope I can continue to develop these skills. I am learning as I go, but, we are going to make a party of it. Therefore we are on a Detour from Sanity and so far I have enjoyed the trip. I'm living in a sitcom with no commercial breaks!

Mother

I spent my entire visit with Mom today telling her not to cross her legs, not to lean forward and not to point her toes together...technically these are the things that will destroy the surgery on her hip...then she wanted a note to help her remember cause the whole time I was telling her all this she was leaning forward and crossing her ankles under the chair....I wrote it on paper...she promptly lost it....I wanted to scream at Mother to just be still....I guess my frustration was showing because Mom came out to play..."Sharon, I just can't remember". So I wrote it on the palms of her hands...then I told her they were going to issue her a card before she came home which stated that she was bonafide crazy and it would get her a discount at McDonald's and Subway....she laughed...looked at me and said " really?". I looked her straight in the eyes and said yes....Mom I can hardly wait for you to come home..
Before we left Mom's room today Ella prayed for her....this was her prayer..

Dear God,
You know we love you...Please make Elise well again so we can take her home....we love her so much and I want her to go roller skating with me. I think that would be great therapy. Amen

Liar, Liar Pants on Fire

OKay...Mother has told everyone in the church (Point Pleasant) that Daddy is going blind...Today the pastor (Brother Larry) and the Deacon (Johnny Oliver) came to visit and pray with Daddy....How wonderful is that? I really appreciate their concern and how sweet is it to come visit like that.....BUT...Daddy is not going blind...he just has droopy eyelids which cause his eyes to water excessively....Do I tell the Pastor that Daddy is not going blind or do I just let them continue to keep him on the prayer list???????????? I mean it can't hurt anything...Daddy could go blind...he's 92.....But if he doesn't go blind soon will Brother Larry then think he has a hotline to God? Will he decide that he is too big for the Paris Landing Community and go on to become a Famous TV Evangelist????????????? Will word spread and people start bringing dieing people for Brother Larry to pray over...Lines will be forming from the front door to Hwy. 79.... I could be responsible for the downfall of this community church...Not only am I a Big Ole Liar...So is my Mother....Of course with the dreaded Altheimers she does have an excuse....I think I'll just deal with this tommorrow...

Bus To Hell..All Aboard !!!!

I have now added another task to my long list...I am a bus driver...Yes I am the one driving the proverbial bus to hell....that is according to my children...They remind me every day.....(the best thing about being the bus driver...I always wanted to operate that lever that opens and closes the door) I digress...
I know you all want to know what I have done that causes me to now be the bus driver...Mother , as you all are aware, has that crazy Altziemers...She is such a hoot...I have noticed that lately, or for a while really, she wants to wear the same clothes all the time...(I guess they feel familiar) Well she is just so darned cute I can hardly stand her running around looking like a bag lady..Yesterday I got her closets are arranged, everything put out of sight and reach that I did not want her to wear anymore and proceeded to tell her that the number one leading cause for people having to go into nursing homes was the fact that as people got older they did not want to change clothes very often...It was the first thing that was a warning sign that you could be on the short list for nursing home is you wore the same clothes all the time...Who ever knew that being a big ole fat liar could work so well....I know, I know....The Bible teaches against lieing, several books and verses about it...I'll just have to atone for my sins later...Right now I'm glad to have my Sassy Mom back...

P.S. Last night I was going for my last check on Mom and Dad..Mom was not in her jammies yet..I told her...They are in the second drawer in you bedroom dresser..A few minutes passed and she's back in the living room, still looking and wandering around..I said , Mother, they're in your bedroom....She says...I'm looking out here, the light is better, I can't see back there.....I've got to write a book....