Death and Cavities

This morning we were playing T V Commercial...one of our favorites.  We do impromptu commercials with whatever product is near us....Ella's commercial...

"Fruity Pebbles Rocks Your
whole Mouth!!!! And may cause Cavities and even Death"

What you may ask did a detour have to do with this?  Her original breakfast was supposed to be eggs, oatmeal, and cinnamon toast....but it's Saturday and we called a truce...she will let me say ugly things today, maybe, if I let her eat Fruity Pebbles...we'll see how this deal goes as the day progresses.

Mom got in on the action too!  

No Child Left Behind......

Today I picked Ella up at Vacation Bible School.....I made my way over to Brother Larry to let him know how much Ella enjoyed yesterday (first day). I also commented on the fact that at my vacation Bible school I got Graham crackers and cool aid,,,,,,these kids are being served a full lunch...today's menu,,,,hamburger, fries, baked beans, juice box and cookies....as Ella walked up, Brother Larry is explaining that this lunch program is new....Ella, holding her to go box, looking quite angelic, and almost biblical with her hair braided and that sweet smile says,,,,"Brother Larry...even though these French fries were served cold, they had an amazingly good flavor..I quite enjoyed them."

I yanked her Biblical butt out of the church as fast as I could....ok...I proceed to tell her she should have only said good stuff to the preacher about the food...she says...."MeMe...Jesus is listening all the time...I cannot tell a lie"

I GIVE UP!!!!! If I am the selected family member to pick her up tomorrow, I may leave her at church.....

Sea Monkeys and Life Lessons

NO ANIMAL WAS INJURED IN THE POSTING OF THIS POST......

Last night Tracy and I were in a little discussion of the sea monkeys who live in my bathroom....at the time they came to live with us, it was a cool idea....I mean what kid hasn't had sea monkeys? You get this little kit, a plastic aquarium ( that you know can't last long), food, instructions, sand and little toys....just fill with water, WATCH THEM GROW, and in a week or two, you empty them in the toilet and life goes on....I never actually saw one appear...all my kids had them...I even had them...they just always seemed to disappear after a week or two....never actually saw one grow...everything just always disappeared...box, aquarium, food, toys everything....

Not so in the case of Ella's sea monkeys who are thriving...they look like little shrimp...they are now about a year old, we are planning a birthday party....I mentioned last night to Tracy that maybe we should help them disappear.....I would do the deed...I.m not attached and we would just tell Ella they went to live somewhere else....well, you would have thought that I was planning to assassinate the president...how could I even think such a thing....how would poor little Ella react...what would she think...how would we handle her hurt and pain at the loss of her beloved sea monkeys?????

So Ella walks up and I think...now is a good time to just let little Ella have a life lesson....She's tough...she can take cold hard facts...."Ella, how do you feel about taking your sea monkeys down to the lake and turning them loose...they will just love it there and can grow up to be big sea monkeys..why we will go and visit them and feed them..what ya say?"

Ella's emphatic reply...."MeMe....sea monkeys have to live in salt water and besides I'm just waiting for them to get a littttttle bigger....COCKTAIL..........SEA MONKEY COCKTAIL....

Ella's Blog

Ella has a blog of her own.  Be sure to visit http://justellad.blogspot.com/2011/06/blog-post.html

Carson Tucker...Popsicle Sticks...And The Lord

Today Ella presented her Dream Team Space Project....the mission, create a space mission, choose 5 real astronauts, and present them to the class.....The sky was the limit....do your own thing....make it interesting and fact filled....
Tracy gathered all the supplies, Cale supervised, and Ella did her project....it was a beautiful poster, painted midnight blue (on my beautiful living room rug) lettered in flaming red, and very informative....she even went the extra mile and created her own patch for the mission...designed and painted it right on the poster...there was a moon and all the astronauts listed with a fact about each one and why she chose them....Outstanding....I.ve never seen anything quite like it...I was amazed....how proud I was....I Immediately began planning what I would wear to the award ceremony on Friday.....
Tonight I ask Ella how her presentation went.....she said it was really good, she remembered everything and her project was really good....great, I.m thinking which sandals to wear with the outfit to the awards ceremony.....should I wear my new ones, should I change the color of my nail polish, should I wear my charm bracelet? When I ask the next question I was not prepared for the answer....I ask...."how about the other little children in your class...how were their projects?"
"Well, Carson Tucker brought a big rocket ship with Popsicle Stick Astronauts...It was really cool, and some dude whose name we don't know cause he's a third grader (senior) brought an astronaut made from kitchen gadgets...funnels, aluminum foil, again with the Popsicle sticks, straws for breathing,,,,you know really cool stuff....". Here sits this beautiful angel who is going to be crushed like a can tomorrow at the awards ceremony still thinking she has a chance....so I with my infinite MeMe wisdom am thinking fast and hard....what can I say...what would Mom say....ok....I got it...."well, Ella, how special would it be if since this is your first year at kid.s college some other child won the big award (did I mention that it is a real space suit) and maybe you could get honorable mention.....I mean we all know that your project was probably the best but those other children might need to win....You are our little winner".
"oh no MeMe...I want to win that space suit....and you know what The Lord Jesus Christ says......I look a little puzzled...I.m wondering what the Lord ever said about my granddaughter NOT winning the grand prize....I.m silent and wait for the answer.....
"With God All Things Are Possible" says this beautiful little angel sitting across the table from me.....

"Ella". Rockstar

"I LOVE ROCK AND ROLL
PUT ANOTHER DIME IN THE JUICE BOX BABY"

WE INTERRUPT REGULAR PROGRAMMING.....

From now on Beef Jerky must be called Beef Turkey!!!!!....

Why you ask.....Because Jerky is long for Jerk which is not a kind word especially to use around homeless people and the most important reason is that if you say Jerky which you remember is long for Jerk, it starts with a "J" and we all know that Jesus starts with a "J" and he is God's Son and God would not be pleased with us if we make an ugly word start with "J".....

Ella makes me so tired!!!! Now if the Lord calls her to preach in the foreign mission field and it is some great island, I'll sign us all up.....We can go hang out on the beach and drink rootbeer while she builds orphanages...............

History Lesson

Ella Loves History.....

Right now one of her favorite people from the past is.......ready.....wait for it......

BEN JAMMIN FRANKLIN...

He helped establish the first post office, police station and library in his town....A True American Hero......Oh and his wife's name was Deborah.....

I AM UNDER THE BUS....

Don't you girls just hate it when this happens?....Tonight...Ella fell on the floor and there happened to be a tattoo there and it is now afixed (is that a word?) to her cheek....Now, ordinarily this would not be a problem but tommorrow there is a school play..." A Barnyard Moosical" and she is supposed to be dressed like a farmer and sing....Now she has a creepy tattoo on her cheek...I knew we might be in trouble as she came out of my bathroom with her hand looking like it was permanently glued to her face...The last time she did this she had shaved off one of her eyebrows....Talk about creeeeeppy....Of course that was my fault...You know...I told her not to ever shave her legs...I never told her not to shave off her eyebrow....

I get a lot of credit for a lot of stuff but this one may be a real stretch....Her cheek was unusually red around the tatoo and she smelled rather strong...Tracy asked if she had been in MeMe's perfume on top of everything else tonight...She said..Mom..We all know that MeMe's perfume has alcohol and that is the only thing that will take off tatooes..I had to use the perfume to remove the tattoo that MeMe left in the floor....

I am no longer driving the bus...I AM UNDER THE BUS....

????????????

Quick Girls...Do Chickens have Ears? (question posed by Ella tonight)

Also...If The Muffin Man lives on Drury Lane What country is that???? (question posed by Tracy, Ella's Mom)

I'm tired....I'll take my inner child back if someone will keep Ella til June.....

"Them Bones, Them Bones, Them Dry Bones"

Okay...when I sing...
The footbone connected to the ankle bone,,
the ankle bone connected to the leg bone...
the leg bone connected to the hip bone...
the hip bone connected to the back bone...
the back bone connected to the neck bone..
the neck bone connected to the head bone....
We all know what that is...That's the way we learned the bones....Right?

If you want a lesson on anatomy sing that song to Ella....Of course she's about as diplomatic as her MeMe....When I sing this song I hear.... WAIT !!!MEME...Those are your Phalanges(toes ) and that is the Fibula and Tibia/////and the femor (thigh)...Wait MeMe you skipped the Patella (knee)...and don't forget the Pelvis...rhymes with Elvis and sissy lovessssss him......and then the Sacrum and the Coxes....OMG.....Oh as I blog....MeMe don't forget the tell the girls about the lumbar vertabrae, the vlassic vertabrae, and the cervical vertabrae.....Meme...will you tell the girls I am starting on organs next.....
Could someone please return my inner child...Ella needs a new and smarter playmate than her Meme.....
And did any of us ever learn that children have more bones than adults?....I thought...Aha...now I'll get her...This cannot be true....But alas it is true....I cannot believe it....

Daddy's Little Girl

This morning Cale (Bubba) broke my heart...He was talking about Ella's 6th Birthday next week....
He looked up at me and said "Mom, do you realize that after next week we'll only have Ella about 11 more years?" I thought a minute and said "Oh son, why did you have to say that out loud?...No, I didn't think about that.."
His reply...."I wish I had never thought it...I can't get it out of my head,"

It takes a lot to make me cry...I wasn't crying over Ella because I know something that he doesn't...She'll always be his little girl, even when she's 30 , but he doesn't know that...Only time will prove that....

I've lied to him so much through his childhood..You know, bout Boy Scouts being for kids without Fathers (because I knew the leader was a pervert so I didn't want him to join)///and then there is my famous lie about 98% of American Families eat Cereal for Supper (because I was a lousy cook) and then the lie about where pets go mysteriously....So anyway how can this kid believe anything I say...I'm such a liar...Oh well, that's part of Parenthood..He'll figure it out...He is a much better Father and Daddy than I was Mother and Mom....

What Ever Happened to Rubber Ducks?

Ella is in the tub tonight.....Playing....She has new tub crayons....for those of you without little ones in your tubs...washable bath crayons..they are really fun..I admit I have used them myself while letting conditioner sit on my hair..I digress...

I walk in and she's drawn some really lovely hearts and used a lot pink, green, yellow..They are really good...Over to the side is

A + B = two..........
I say Ella what ya doing...Her answer...BATH FORMULAS
I Have Got to Write a Book....

Aglet...

Aglet...

Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
An aglet is a small plastic or metal sheath typically found on each end of a shoelace, cord or drawstring...

Ella's definition: the plastic thingies on the end of her shoestrings...It's not funny MeMe when you can't find them and you need to lace your tennis shoes.....

Dave//that was such a good guess ankle socks....
Ginger....really...you didn't even try to guess...you gave up too soon.

I knew this would throw you all off...This was not smartie spelling..It was for real..I live in a circus....

What Exactly is an Aglet??

O K Loons....I've spent the last 15 minutes in the bathroom looking for aglets...Ellas lost hers.....I have looked and looked with her...all over the floor, the bathtub, the vanity, the drawers, the counter tops...I finally decided to ask her exactly what I was looking for....I was too embarrased at first to admit that I did not know what an aglet was.....Anybody care to take a guess???????????

Her answer to me was...You know MeMe..My aglets..I'm missing two of them..A G L E T.
I say what color are they?....Well you know MeMe..you bought them for me....Well do you have to have them? ... Yes by tommorrow morning....When did I buy them for you??.....this summer you know for school...O K....I am not smarter than a 5th grader..I am not even as smart as a 5 yr. old....I decide to try an bluff...Well tommorrow morning you can wear your new hair barretts..(pretty good bluff)...Well MeMe, What does that have to do with my aglets?....Well , I don't know..I just thought that might make up for not finding the aglets....No , I really need the aglets....I try another bluff...I didn't think you were supposed to wear jewelry to school..MeMe.that has nothing to do with it either....MeMe, you do know what an aglet is, don't you???????????? Well of course everyone knows what an aglet is..Silly..Go ask Big Daddy if he knows where your aglets are....

Anybody know what an aglet is????

Salfons and Life Lessons

Sharon - Any true southern woman knows that the way to pronouce cell phone is "salfon."   Ella's just spelling it the way it sounds.    It's the same thing that makes some southerners say far tire instead of fire tower or lay instead of Lee,  agg instead of egg, pillar instead of pillow, and so on.  Sounds like Ella is going to have a real southern accent.

Anne - I have a visual.  'Nough said!

Translation Please

Anybody care to take a guess on what

salfon is...????????????

Ella is writing now....

She wants one...here is what she wrote..

I wont a salfon.....

Cheerleader???????

Ella has made an important decision this week.
She now wants to be a cheerleader for the needy and homeless...
She says she feels that those poor people would surely love to see her in a white tee shirt and cute little plaid skirt..She could cheer for them and make them feel better...If that didn't work, why she would just pray for them...


I couldn't resist sharing...I promise to be back soon....this week I am sure....not slowing down..just the firemen will be here tommorrow for 3 days...they pretty much take care of themselves once I get them settled in....I plan to bombard you girls with updates....Love and miss each and every one of you....

Sunday Panties

These are my most favorite panties in the whole wide world....Do you know why? I got them for Jesus.....They are so very soft and they don't get in my crack...They are special for Jesus because when I'm in Sunday School I don't have to do this all the time....(a visual followed ... Ella over exaggerating a pull and a tug from various angles of her panties)
If we got 6 more pairs of these panties we could think about Jesus everyday!!!