Ella's Right????

Ella's Wisdom:

"You can always tell your right from your left....."
How I asked, that seems hard for someone 5 years old to know..I was interested in knowing exactly how she knows that....We take things like that for granted...Is it now built in to her? Is it going to be with her forever like it is with me? Is it scientific?....you know right brain, left brain....Is this an instinct that she has developed? She's so young...How does she know this? Her answer...

"There's always a beautiful sticker on your right tap shoe...All you have to do is look down MeMe."

Ella...Really

Trying to be cool the other day, I was commenting on a news report about some of the stimulus money going to build a guard rail on a little used highway outside of Dyersburg...Everyone is up in arms because it will be such a waste..The highway is not traveled and is not that important to the community..I made the statement, "That is So Lame"
Ella walked up to me and said, "MeMe....You must not use the word Lame unless you are talking about Jesus making a crippled guy walk....Really MeMe, I don't think the Lord would like that..."
I AM LIVING WITH A MISSIONARY......OMG

Ella's Prayer

Had a cook out for some fishermen staying here this week at the lodge..They've been on the road for quite a while...Elite Fishermen coming back in June but in between tourneys came to stay with us a few days before the water goes off limits...Ella heard me talking about how tough it is on them and how we should make their meal very special...

She was helping me serve, when everyone got their plates She Said "I would like to offer a prayer for you guys..." Of course they were all very pleased and I suppose expected a short memory prayer from this small child....When she was through there weren't many dry eyes...She prayed " Dear Lord...Thank you so very much for bringing these fishermen to Fishtale Lodge, cause you know we like for them to stay with us....Before we eat tonight, I would like to thank you for all this food and I hope you will bless all these fishermen and let them catch lots of fish....They need them....and when they come back next month do you think you could send Jesus down to have dinner with all of us...I know you are too busy....We'll just expect Jesus....Thank you again, Dear Lord..Amen, This was Ella..and thank you for blessing the small children at St. Jude"

I must start sharing Ella's prayers with you all...They are amazing....I know you will all agree..

There Is No Excuse For Rude Behavior!

There just is no excuse for rude behavior!!!
Today, I am in Lowe's ...looking for chair cushions and paint samples...I spy a rug in a barrel with several others...It beckons me from a great distance...My reward for going to look and following my gut...it is beautiful....An outdoor rug, perfect for the patio..brown background with a slight design of tree limbs and artsy looking birds in just the color of my cushions...Not too busy, casual enough for me and the price...unbelievable...In this barrel every rug is at least $68.00 up to $213.00...This rug..clearance..big yellow tag...$17.98.........Not $178.98....$17.98....Of course I snatch it, load it in my buggy and check the barrel to make sure there's not another one....I am motoring around the Lowe's pleased as punch with my rug sticking out 3 feet in front of the buggy, being careful not to knock down any displays or hit people...I'm thinking wow..I'm going in search of more yellow tags.....Along comes a spider..she's not much older than I am with her daughter behind her looking like a deer caught in head lights....I and the rest of the store overhear That's my rug..there it is....She starts out pleasant enough.."Excuse me...I saw that rug first...When I came in I saw it and told my daughter I would pick it up on the way out..I didn't have a buggy"....I look around thinking OK...It's one of those tv things...they have a camera on me and they want to see a fight.....I said.."Well, I'm sad you didn't get the rug and there is not another one" She proceeds to lay her hands on my rug....I saw this rug first..Once again , I look around thinking there's a tv camera somewhere...I hope my lipstick still looks fresh, I am glad I colored my hair last night and thank goodness my sandals match my shirt...I am starting to pose for the unseen tv camera...I am sure this woman thinks I am on some good drugs, cause I am smiling, looking around and being very kind....I tell her that her loss is my gain...sorry but the rug has a new home on my patio....she then proceeds to tell me that she hopes I am happy...I tell her I am very happy, I have a new bargain rug for the cost of a good bath towel....She spins and walks off...I stand there, just a while longer waiting on the tv crew....No one shows up...I guess I wasn't on tv afterall...Now I wish I had slapped her..I think I would have felt better...There just is no excuse for rude behavior.....

Yogi Photo

We really must include this photo.  I think ya'll look too cute.

Let's see - touching, fragrance and inverted boobs.  Do we really want to go there???

The Class

I arrive at Yoga Class....Kathi has on layered black ..tank top, with cute little cap sleeve shirt under and black yoga pants, precious little ballet slippers..pony tail, black band in hair...I arrive with all black and glittery flip flops, she passes me a band for my forehead and here we are..about to enter the class....Cute, cute, cute as can be....We walk in and immediately fall apart..We are the new kids in class...looking and acting like 2 cheerleaders walking into a home ec class of which we have no intentions of learning to sew....Our mats are still in the box...we both have our $5.00 in our hand and stumble around for a few minutes while the instructor shows us where to put our money and sign in.....Finally...We get our mats out of the boxes, place on the floor, the lights dim, and our instructor says "Does anyone have a problem with touching or fragrances?" Alarm bells are ringing in my head...one of our class mates turned to tell me the instructor comes around and touches us when we close our eyes....Should I get up and run, where did I leave my purse, I can't go without my flip flops, they are my favorites..Looked over at Kathi who is talking with her neighbor who explains that the instructor comes around and touches but it's ok...I decide to stay....
We get into several positions..some hard, some not, some feel good, some made me wish that I had taken Aleive instead of Musinex (When I left home for class I thought it might be a good idea to take 2 Aleive, you know, so I could move and bend) I didn't have my glasses and realized after swallowing that I had taken 2 Musinex instead...Oh well, that's another whole story...Then we find ourselves laying flat on our stomachs...Kathi and I are nose to nose struggling to reach our left ankle with our left hand and pushing the heel of our foot into our buttocks when she shares with me that Dwight has been gone 6 weeks....I get tickled, she gets tickled, the more we try to be quiet, the more giggly we get...The instructor comes to sit with us....Now we are not the teacher's pet so I flip Kathi a Bird and she sticks her tongue out at me and it starts again....We settle down.....Then we roll over, up on our knees and do back bends which I did pretty good..I'm feeling good about this..start to show out a little by staying longer than I had to...I'm feeling pretty good about this...Then, I look down and it's the Summer of my Freshman year all over again...From laying flat on my stomach on the hard floor my cups have inverted...For my 3 busty loonies you will find this hard to believe..Some of us don't fill out our padded bras..The cups can invert...O.K..So how long were they inverted? Maybe I wasn't as cute as I thought....Well I tell Kathi, thanks for telling me...she gets tickled again....I'm not sure we are welcome at this class again...Maybe we can get into a Karate Class, start all over again and behave this time....NO.
Maybe we will carry Anne and Lee so we can boost our credibility......
Looney Loose Lady..sharon

Too Tall Sharon

Can't talk now....................I am on my way to YOGA.....................

I figure why not..Kathi called today, asked me to go with her.....I say sure..Of course I think she was calling my bluff just to see how tuff I am...I don't think she really has or had any intentions of doing this class at all....I believe she just wanted to know if I would....I have called her bluff..I did tell her that I didn't think I could but I would be willing to try........She said sure I could..I complained that I was stiff, she told me about her knee.........I told her I couldn't even touch my toes....SHE SAYS " I DIDN'T THINK ABOUT THAT, YOU ARE TALL" I mean really...being tall doesn't have anything to do with touching your toes...........Does It????????????
Love to all the Loonies!!!!

I Should Not Covet My Friend's Handyman...

OK...Now my Loonie Tune Friend, who does do Karoke, has blogged that she had a cuter Handy Man than I....There is no justice...Mine is old, cranky, temperamental, has no taste in tee-shirts, and does not have long hair, drink wine or smoke....That is just not fair......

I did spend another enjoyable afternoon with mine...morning snack, lunch, and afternoon coffee..I've run out of things to cook..I am very limited..Today he had to have left over pineapple cake with his coffee and if looks could have killed, I would be getting a hair helmet by some beautician that works on dead people....I guess tommorrow I'll bake him brownies...I am almost through with his long list of chores, I am worn completely out and he's fresh as a daisy....I lost control somewhere along the list of chores...I think it was the day I showed a little compassion after he'd been stung by a wasp...I got him an ice pack and we came in had coffee and that was the start of his taking liberties with me...yes , I said liberties...like..could you get me coffee,,,A cold drink would be nice.....fetch that rake for me,,,,,,you wanna haul this while I rest a minute...I should start over..that's it...I'll find a new man.......The hunt is on...I'll fire this one and find a new one.............Stay tuned girlies...It's gonna be a rough ride..............I am on a Mission.

My yard man has not left the building...

Lunch is over....My yard man had spiral cut honey baked ham sandwiches (2) and cherry jello with fruit.....We sat together and ate and drank...Perhaps he is not breaking up with me.....Got to run...I am now making our coffee for break and we will have fresh homeade pineapple cake..I can tell him it's fresh..the pineapple came from a can, cake came from a box and icing is whipped vanilla frosting in a carton...He won't know the difference...It was just made and it is very fresh....I do have him working inside..don't want him to blister in that bright sun outside....He's painting floors for me.....A Man of All Trades.....

The Pending Break-Up

Well, I think it is happening...I believe my yard man is trying to break up with me....This is a man that knows all my secrets..he helped me clean out my garage.....He has seen me without make-up.......he's heard me lie on the phone.....why he has even seen me spit!!! What will I do? I am too old to break in a new one...I must get him back......The reason I think he is breaking up with me is that yesterday he had lunch without me on the pavillion and at coffee break time, he came in fixed his coffee and drank it then came and told me coffee was ready but he had had his...Aren't these the signs of break up? What will I do? I must get him back.....Why the next thing you know he'll be saying yes mam and no mam again.....What am I going to do?

I DO NOT CUSS

To make a long story short...My son,daughter in law, husband and several other out siders got into a little Facebook Spat last night...It all started when my son (Cale) posted on Tracy's(daughter in law) Facebook cause she left it up...That's fair game around here..You leave it logged in, it's your fault.. Well, I'm just having too much fun posting comments on what he said on hers. I in turn forget and leave it logged in, so he hits mine...After several playful rounds, a truce is called then...Cale started to play really dirty...He posted..."MeMe...I must please ask you to stop cussing around Ella"...All the entire world is reading this....I found myself threatening my own flesh and blood, threatening to hurt him and if I could have gotten my hands on him I would have.....How do I tell the entire world now that I DO NOT CUSS......Maybe I'll just start cussing...that will fix them...Did I mention that when Cale posted this, it appeared right after Carlton Gerrell was pleading with the community to offer prayers for the Easter Week End...I mean really ...timing......Carlton messaged me that his entire church would be praying for my problems with cussing.....I think I will just start cussing....@#%^*(+!#%$

Random Information

I should be a genius....Dr. Phil has an expert on today who tells us that if we drink coffee we should have exceptional brain power!!! Woo Hoo....My brain will never grow old.....Yeah....

There were a few other things we should consume
Whole grains..oatmeal and rice
Green vegetable...broccoli..spinach..cauliflower(counts as green)
Nuts & Seeds & Avocados
Berries..raspberries, strawberries, blueberries
Fatty Fish...or fish oil with DHA
Dark Chocolate
Water
Wine
COFFEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Looney Ladies Ravings - The Yard Man by Sharon Seaton

I cannot get on the blog...I do not exist..you will have to walk me through....

I was going to blog about my neighbor stealing my yard man this morning....I have been working him, feeding him lunch, giving him all the coke he could hold, and letting him drive my polaris around while I took the golf cart....and this morning ...he is at my neighbor's working..Not coming to see me til Thursday....I think she's mixing him coctails....I must investigate....and this happened tonight...

Next Day
Well, I've spent a good part of my day preparing for my Yard Man...I have him several choices on sandwiches on wheat bread, his favorite chilled soft drinks, I'm going to offer him fancy flavored creamer with his mid morning coffee, .....What a day I have planned...Blades all sharpened for him, new gloves and cookies for the afternoon coffee...I can hardly wait to see him..I think I'll even give him a new Fishtale Lodge Shirt
 

Where is my Yard Man..I will not fuss even though it is way after l0:00..The neighbor probably let him start late...Now if I could just get this crazy Judy Garland Song out of my head...The nite is bitter...the stars have lost their glitter.....the winds grow colder..suddenly you're older....all because of the yard man that got awaaaaaaay......No more his eager call....the writings on the wallllllllll.

All because of the man that got awaaaaaay.............
 
 
 
 
 

(Looks like a pretty cushy job to me.)

One of Sharon's MeMe Moments

Last Night I was checking in one of my many favorite couples to the Lodge...Kevin & Wendy Hinton...He is a Pentacostal Preacher from KY and I do so enjoy his and Wendy's visits..They come to crappie fish...Ella had just taken a shower and was all dressed in her jammies ready to go home...I call her to the front office to perform one of her many tricks...Tonight I choose saying all the books of the Old Testament, all 66 of them...Quite a feat for a 5 yr. old...Here she comes looking all angelic and clean and smelling powdery fresh but she has her Karate Belt wrapped around her head several times like a turban...I ask her why she had it on...She informs me that she wanted to look like one of Jesus' followers like in the olden days...She wanted to be a disciple....OK,,this adds to the act..you can't write a script like this because we are fixing to wow them

Of course Kevin is saying Praise the Lord....She starts and doesn't stop until she's recited all the books and even ends with a song about the walls of Jericho....OMG...How sweet, how smart, what an angel...They are so impressed and so am I...Then Tracy swoops in, whisks her off and says we are off to bed..I get a call 20 minutes later....Mom are you sitting down..ELLA SHAVED OFF AN EYEBROW.....She wasn't trying to look like a disciple...she was hiding the hideous bare skin that looked like a baby's butt above her left eye....It's Easter Week...She has a beautiful pink dotted dress, Ballet Recital is near, and I wanted her to try out for a part in the KPack Theater Group Production of 101 Dalmations.....Now what do we do.....Later last nite I visited the crime scene...My bathroom sink looked like a caterpillar molted...Just another MeMe Moment....

Yard Man...Mid Day

When I grow up , I want to be my Yard Man...He arrives at 10:20 this AM...At 11:15 He's having Pizza..Thin crust extra peperoni....and ice cream sundae with chocolate.....Then by 1:15 in for cup of coffee.....I want to be a Yard Man when I grow up......It's 3:30 and I am seeing signs of Time to Go Home......Yes, I want to be a Yard Man when I grow up......