All Aboard...Bus Departing

I probably went too far this time but the opportunity knocked and you know me...I went right through that door....

Picture this...I have Mother in the car..We are cruising along and have seen several signs about a Live Nativity...The writing is very small on the sign telling exactly where it will be...The Dates are big...December 3,, 4,, & 5......You just can't quite see where....Sooooo...I tell Mother it's going to be in the Parking Lot of Sensual Pleasures......It's quite humorous to me until I have to reap the results of Mother's random memory....I heard her invititing Aunty Chrick to come spend the night with her and I would take them to see the Live Nativity in the Parking Lot of Sensual Pleasures....Oh My Goodness...It's going to take a prayer of forgivness starting on Central Time at 10:30 tonight and ending on Mountain Time at 11:30......
MAYBE I WON'T BE STAYING ON MOUNTAIN TIME AFTER ALL...

Mountain Mama

O.K. Loons...You know we all like to save money...I do my own hair color...Not only does it save money but it actually saves me time too...No appointments, my schedule, can be late can be early...don't have to get dressed and go anywhere...It's just convenient...I'm just a brunette...for goodness sakes, how hard can that be....Well, I've done it for years....Today I decide to color my hair..I watch a lot of Fox News..Especially while I have color on..can't wait on customers, can't talk on phone, can't do anything for 45 minutes ..right....I got an extra bonus time today...I started my hair color on Central time but took it off on Mountain Time....You do the math...My color stayed on l hr. and 45 minutes...I kept thinking it was taking longer...I got a lot of rest in, I did my nails....made a few notes...looked up some old recipes....Maybe I'll just stay on Mountain Time...I like it...

Ruby Slippers

Ok...mother can't remember if she's had supper 15 minutes after she eats...she can't remember where Daddy is 15 minutes after we drop him off at Dialysis...BUT..she can remember that big ole fat lie I told her when we left Guinn's Shoe Store 5 days ago....I thought it might be funny to tell her we had been at The Sensual Pleasures XXX Adult Store and found those darling Ruby Red Slippers with the Diamond buckles across the toe...Little did I know she would tell Dr. Portis, the nurse, the ladies at the bank, my cousin Candace and probably everyone in her Sunday School class yesterday...Mother wants to go back when they have a sale. I'm gettin up another load for my bus to hell....

The Gift That Keeps on Giving

Everytime I buy an early Christmas Present I can hardly wait to give it....I've almost gone broke in the past buying presents in October and November and giving them away and then having to make a mad dash in December to buy again..There are no words for the early present I gave today...
On the way home from the Methodist Bazaar I stopped in the PromiseLand Book Store...Brother Dwight and I were messing around with each other as always ...I even left my purse in the car, told him to leave me alone, I was not buying, I was only window shopping...He asked about Daddy and told me of the Super Giant Print Bible..I told him he was making that up ..that I had never seen such a Bible and he was just tricking me trying to get me on the last aisle of the store with him....
What do you think? There it was ... A super Giant Jumbo Print Bible...I purchased it for my "going blind father" and had his name engraved, while I waited, and brought it home...As I was coming in the back door, Daddy was coming through the front door.....I of course gave it to him early..I mean really,,,,You gonna make a 93 year old man wait for a present????
I opened the box, showed him the beautiful engraved cover...He opened it and said..
"I can read this...every word...it's so clear and large...I love it....He turned around with his Bible and said..."I'm going to go right now and start making notes in the margin...I'll give it back to you some day"
There's my point...you should burn candles that people give you for gifts and you should give early presents...My Christmas is already the Best Ever...

Yard man

Okay, the pic that Sharon posted of her yard man. Mom and Lee and I were talking about it at lunch and I mentioned where did she take the pic of Eric and was informed it was not Eric, but you know if you look again it does sort of look like Eric. Am I wrong or does anyone else see it? I know Lee doesn't, cause she was pretty adamant about that!

Daddy's Little Girl

This morning Cale (Bubba) broke my heart...He was talking about Ella's 6th Birthday next week....
He looked up at me and said "Mom, do you realize that after next week we'll only have Ella about 11 more years?" I thought a minute and said "Oh son, why did you have to say that out loud?...No, I didn't think about that.."
His reply...."I wish I had never thought it...I can't get it out of my head,"

It takes a lot to make me cry...I wasn't crying over Ella because I know something that he doesn't...She'll always be his little girl, even when she's 30 , but he doesn't know that...Only time will prove that....

I've lied to him so much through his childhood..You know, bout Boy Scouts being for kids without Fathers (because I knew the leader was a pervert so I didn't want him to join)///and then there is my famous lie about 98% of American Families eat Cereal for Supper (because I was a lousy cook) and then the lie about where pets go mysteriously....So anyway how can this kid believe anything I say...I'm such a liar...Oh well, that's part of Parenthood..He'll figure it out...He is a much better Father and Daddy than I was Mother and Mom....

What Ever Happened to Rubber Ducks?

Ella is in the tub tonight.....Playing....She has new tub crayons....for those of you without little ones in your tubs...washable bath crayons..they are really fun..I admit I have used them myself while letting conditioner sit on my hair..I digress...

I walk in and she's drawn some really lovely hearts and used a lot pink, green, yellow..They are really good...Over to the side is

A + B = two..........
I say Ella what ya doing...Her answer...BATH FORMULAS
I Have Got to Write a Book....

Where Have I Seen This Face Before?

Sharon sent me a note via her ipod, "While you and your inner child were busy stringing beads and sitting round the camp fire singing kum ba ya...my yard man and I were working????????"

Aglet...

Aglet...

Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
An aglet is a small plastic or metal sheath typically found on each end of a shoelace, cord or drawstring...

Ella's definition: the plastic thingies on the end of her shoestrings...It's not funny MeMe when you can't find them and you need to lace your tennis shoes.....

Dave//that was such a good guess ankle socks....
Ginger....really...you didn't even try to guess...you gave up too soon.

I knew this would throw you all off...This was not smartie spelling..It was for real..I live in a circus....

What Exactly is an Aglet??

O K Loons....I've spent the last 15 minutes in the bathroom looking for aglets...Ellas lost hers.....I have looked and looked with her...all over the floor, the bathtub, the vanity, the drawers, the counter tops...I finally decided to ask her exactly what I was looking for....I was too embarrased at first to admit that I did not know what an aglet was.....Anybody care to take a guess???????????

Her answer to me was...You know MeMe..My aglets..I'm missing two of them..A G L E T.
I say what color are they?....Well you know MeMe..you bought them for me....Well do you have to have them? ... Yes by tommorrow morning....When did I buy them for you??.....this summer you know for school...O K....I am not smarter than a 5th grader..I am not even as smart as a 5 yr. old....I decide to try an bluff...Well tommorrow morning you can wear your new hair barretts..(pretty good bluff)...Well MeMe, What does that have to do with my aglets?....Well , I don't know..I just thought that might make up for not finding the aglets....No , I really need the aglets....I try another bluff...I didn't think you were supposed to wear jewelry to school..MeMe.that has nothing to do with it either....MeMe, you do know what an aglet is, don't you???????????? Well of course everyone knows what an aglet is..Silly..Go ask Big Daddy if he knows where your aglets are....

Anybody know what an aglet is????

Salfons and Life Lessons

Sharon - Any true southern woman knows that the way to pronouce cell phone is "salfon."   Ella's just spelling it the way it sounds.    It's the same thing that makes some southerners say far tire instead of fire tower or lay instead of Lee,  agg instead of egg, pillar instead of pillow, and so on.  Sounds like Ella is going to have a real southern accent.

Anne - I have a visual.  'Nough said!

Translation Please

Anybody care to take a guess on what

salfon is...????????????

Ella is writing now....

She wants one...here is what she wrote..

I wont a salfon.....

Liar, Liar Pants on Fire

OKay...Mother has told everyone in the church (Point Pleasant) that Daddy is going blind...Today the pastor (Brother Larry) and the Deacon (Johnny Oliver) came to visit and pray with Daddy....How wonderful is that? I really appreciate their concern and how sweet is it to come visit like that.....BUT...Daddy is not going blind...he just has droopy eyelids which cause his eyes to water excessively....Do I tell the Pastor that Daddy is not going blind or do I just let them continue to keep him on the prayer list???????????? I mean it can't hurt anything...Daddy could go blind...he's 92.....But if he doesn't go blind soon will Brother Larry then think he has a hotline to God? Will he decide that he is too big for the Paris Landing Community and go on to become a Famous TV Evangelist????????????? Will word spread and people start bringing dieing people for Brother Larry to pray over...Lines will be forming from the front door to Hwy. 79.... I could be responsible for the downfall of this community church...Not only am I a Big Ole Liar...So is my Mother....Of course with the dreaded Altheimers she does have an excuse....I think I'll just deal with this tommorrow...

Bus To Hell..All Aboard !!!!

I have now added another task to my long list...I am a bus driver...Yes I am the one driving the proverbial bus to hell....that is according to my children...They remind me every day.....(the best thing about being the bus driver...I always wanted to operate that lever that opens and closes the door) I digress...
I know you all want to know what I have done that causes me to now be the bus driver...Mother , as you all are aware, has that crazy Altziemers...She is such a hoot...I have noticed that lately, or for a while really, she wants to wear the same clothes all the time...(I guess they feel familiar) Well she is just so darned cute I can hardly stand her running around looking like a bag lady..Yesterday I got her closets are arranged, everything put out of sight and reach that I did not want her to wear anymore and proceeded to tell her that the number one leading cause for people having to go into nursing homes was the fact that as people got older they did not want to change clothes very often...It was the first thing that was a warning sign that you could be on the short list for nursing home is you wore the same clothes all the time...Who ever knew that being a big ole fat liar could work so well....I know, I know....The Bible teaches against lieing, several books and verses about it...I'll just have to atone for my sins later...Right now I'm glad to have my Sassy Mom back...

P.S. Last night I was going for my last check on Mom and Dad..Mom was not in her jammies yet..I told her...They are in the second drawer in you bedroom dresser..A few minutes passed and she's back in the living room, still looking and wandering around..I said , Mother, they're in your bedroom....She says...I'm looking out here, the light is better, I can't see back there.....I've got to write a book....